Book Review: The Darkest Corners

Let me introduce you to a page turner, The Darkest Corners by Kara Thomas. My book club chose this read for our May gathering. I opened and finished it within four days. It has twists at every turn and keeps surprising you in the best ways. I've been itching for a book that makes you hungry to finish it,  you know the ones, and it just hit the spot.

The story takes place in Pennsylvania and is told from the perspective of Tessa, who brings in layers of family dynamics, brokenness, and courage that you connect with from the beginning. As you read you discover that she and her childhood best friend, Callie, testified as witnesses to a  murder as children and haven't spoken since. There is intrigue around whether or not their story was accurate, what actually happened to Callie's cousin, who was the victim, and a towns worth of gossip to keep you guessing at every corner.

Throughout the book, you are learning about family dynamics, secrets kept by friends, healing, and the lives that happen in small towns without the knowledge of others. I was on the edge of every page and gasped out loud at the end when all the layers had been removed and the full story presented itself.

I am eager to get to book club so we can devour every chapter. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did!

What is on your summer reading list?

Looking for great reads? Join me as I share books on my shelf and what I am currently reading. Follow along on instagram, #ReadWithGrits.

Summer Reading List

One of the best parts of summer is being able to devour book after book. I cannot wait for my summer lineup!

Shanghai Girls by Lisa See

July Book Club Selection

Emotionally Intelligent Leadership by Shankman and Allen

Little Earthquakes by Jennifer Weiner

Mockingjay by Suzanne Collins

Final book in The Hunger Games series!

Choosing Me Before We by Christine Arylo

Big Girls Don't Cry by Rebecca Traister

Bring on the Books.....

"Keep the old coat and buy the new book"

I have a ritual of creating a list of the books I want to read for the upcoming year. Thanks to my book club, I carved out a lot of time to read last year and I found it thoroughly enjoyable and good for my soul. I am looking forward to the pages that await me....

Please leave suggestions or tell me what is on your list.

2011 Reading List

Big Girls Don't Cry: The Election that Changed Everything for American Women
Mockingbird: A Portrait of Harper Lee
Emily Post's Biography
Social Intelligence

The Fixer Upper

Magnolia Wednesdays

Living Out Loud

The Summer We Read Gatsby

Hunger Game Series

"Why Are All the Black Kids Sitting Together in the Cafeteria?"

Look Me in the Eye: My Life With Asperger's

Scout, Atticus, and Boo

Little Earthquakes

Pride and Prejudice and Zombies

Traveling with Pomegranates: A Mother-Daughter Story

The books that my wonderful Book Club ladies choose

If you are looking for some ideas for your reading list, here are a few that continue to top my list:

The Help

Pride & Prejudice
To Kill A Mockingbird
The Best Day of Someone Else's Life
I Never Fancied Him Anyway
In A Different Voice
Why I Wore Lipstick to My Mastectomy
Uglies, Pretties, and Specials - Scott Westerfield Series

Hip Tranquil Chick

You Are Your Choices

The Art and Power of Being a Lady

The Southern Lady: From Pedestals to Politics

Girls in Trucks

Good in Bed & Certain Girls

Love Walked In

All Jennifer Crusie, Pamela Morsi, and Mary Kay Andrews... they are a wonderful guilty pleasure

The Mermaid Chair

Water for Elephants

Slowing Down to the Speed of Life

"To read is to fly: it is to soar to a point of vantage which gives a view over wide terrains of history, human variety, ideas, shared experience and the fruits of many inquiries."

Book Review: The 5 Love Languages

For years I have been meaning to read Gary Chapman's The 5 Love Languages. Over time I have read passages and gotten the general themes but never really invested in reading the book. This weekend I pulled it off the bookshelf, sat down with a glass of wine and dove in. While the book is based on martial relationships, I believe that it is transferable to most relationships we are connected to.

The basis is that each of us have a language we use to communicate love and want to receive it. The trick is to understanding our own and the person's that we are in the relationship with. Chapman discovered the 5 languages after years of counseling couples. He determines them to be: Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service, and Physical Touch.

I always assumed that Physical Touch would be my language because I am a touchy cuddly person. The assessment identified Words of Affirmation as my primary with Physical Touch and Quality Time being tied for my secondary languages. All of these are completely true for how I equate someone loving me and often how I show love to others. Words of Affirmation took me by surprise but then as I reflected on it, I realized that when verbal/written communication is not coming from a partner or friend I often struggle to know how they feel. I am a communicator and I like for people to articulate their feelings as well. At work, I want a review. With friends and family, I always use cards as a way to express feelings for them. If you are diggin me romantically, you need to come out and say it.

I have this strong memory as a child, shortly after my parents divorced that I was talking on the phone with my Daddy and we hung up without him telling me he loved me. That particular day I was at my Granny's and I remember that I immediately started crying. When she asked me what was wrong, I told her Daddy didn't love me. Trying to calm me down she said of course he loves you and I responded with, but he didn't say it. Obviously, he loves me a great deal but it wouldn't have mattered if he brought me a present or spent hours with me, I needed him to say it, just so that I could be sure. I am sure that my Granny called him back because I got another phone call from him just to say he loved me. Long before I even could grasp what love was, I knew how it needed to be communicated to me. I would guess that all of us have these inherent ways we need to hear that someone loves us.

The book is helpful in realizing that we must communicate our language to those we are in relationships with and need them to communicate theirs. Absent of that, we will default to our preferred language and this can leave the other person without any idea of how committed we are to them. A person can do a lot of things to show me they care but if they tell me or even better, put it in writing, I am over the moon and completely confident in their feelings for me. Recently, I had breakfast with a distinguished alumni and his wife. The couple told us of how they went on their first date - he wrote her a letter asking her out. My students kind of laughed at me because I was like... oh, that is the best thing ever! Of course now it makes complete sense to me, I would find it appealing for someone to write me a note 1. to ask me out and 2. to express why they wanted to spend that kind of time with me. I always find myself able to trust someone when they communicate their feelings through words - now I understand it is because that is how I fill up my love tank. Around my house and in my office, you will find notes that were especially meaningful or validating for me. I go back to them time and again - they are sacred to me.

The book also frames relationships, specifically marriage, in a great way as a choice. He talks about how the "in love/obsession" phase of a relationship lasts about two years and then the reality of what we require emotionally surfaces and the choice of commitment begins because "it is fundamental to our nature". Beyond the obsession phase of a relationship, I often wonder how people can be married for 50 years and I love that Chapman talks about it as a choice we have to make every single day. He states "Our most basic emotional need is not to fall in love but to be genuinely loved by another, to know a love that grows out of reason and choice, not instinct. I need to be loved by someone who chooses to love me, who sees in me something worth loving." What a compelling concept. I have heard friends discuss marriage but no one ever really talks about the real life of it or how hard it is which has left me skeptical. After reading this book, this single gal really loved the way he frames marriage, a concept I can now totally grasp.

I am sure that understanding my language a bit better will enhance my relationships and I'll definitely be trying to figure out how those in my life need me to communicate that I love them.

"Love is something you do for someone else, not something you do for yourself"

Book Club & A Delicious Hummus Recipe

A couple of months ago, my friend Alexis and I started a book club to force us to read, which we love, and give us an excuse to have some girl time. This group is one of my favorite things in Fayetteville because it's simple and I get to spend time with some great women.

Each month we rotate hostesses and the one hosting chooses the book. This month it was my turn and I picked Water for Elephants. I found the book to be a fascinating depiction of the start of traveling circuses and their cultures, especially during the Depression Era. This was a great read - very engaging (I finished in two days) and I felt captivated to learn about the two main characters and where their fate would lead them. I am looking forward to the movie starring one of my faves, Reese Witherspoon.

Book Club also usually involves food and I made a delicious new hummus recipe which I just had to share. The menu for book club included this hummus, egg salad sandwiches, and salad. For dessert, we enjoyed cotton candy, caramel corn and brownies.

Roasted Red Pepper Hummus

Courtesy of Cooking Light, October 2010

Ingredients

1/3 cup of tahini (sesame seed paste)

1/4 cup of water

1/4 cup of bottled roasted red bell peppers, rinsed and drained

2 tablespoons of lemon juice

1/4 teaspoon of salt, or to taste

1 garlic clove, minced

1 - 15 ounce can of chickpeas, rinsed and drained

Olive Oil

Place all ingredients in food processor, process until smooth. Add olive oil in a stream until desired consistency. Serve with crackers, pita chips or pretzel chips.

Yields 2 cups (Serving size 1/4 cup)

102 calories per serving, 3.5g of Protein, 10.5g of Carbs, 2g of Fiber, 5.7g of Fat