Wednesday, December 11, 2013

dear future self


Dear Future Self,

I have been thinking a lot about you lately, wondering about who you will be and all of the things you become.

Maybe you rediscovered this letter tucked away in your favorite copy of an old book, with pages that are falling out, as you sit in a corner of a little cafe in your favorite part of your city, wrapped up in your newest favorite cardigan, with your hair behind your ears, sipping coffee, escaping to have a moment for yourself. At least, that is how I picture you. Almost the same, yet entirely different.

My hope for you, or rather, the things I know to be probably true are that:

You get lost in the things that you love. You find yourself there too

Life is still an adventure

You helped a child fall in love with books by teaching them to read

The days you were labeled as everyone's cheerleader never stopped

Students send you notes updating you on their adventures because you made an impact in their lives

Maybe you finally got that PhD or chased the next dream job or maybe you didn't

You remain driven by purposeful work

Friendships fill your life with immense joy

Secretary remains your CSAA 2009 unofficial title. You still hope that you measured up to be the professional they thought you would be when they gave you the Miller award

You go to the mat every time you believe something is worth fighting for

Being a big sister has only grown sweeter as Dustin and Kyle have become great men

You wrote something that made someone think, act, or be more courageous with their own life

Your passport is full of stamps

All the kiddos call on you for life advice because you are the "cool" Aunt that discusses the tough stuff over chips and dip

Life knocked you down a few more times, it was a brutal teacher, but you learned

Your four parents feel proud of the daughter they raised

And your faith continues to challenge, support, and grow with you

I hope that the soundtrack to your life is the pitter patter of little feet and laughter, not any ole kind, but the kind that makes your stomach hurt. There are days you think you are failing miserably but you aren't. And that soccer team carpool might scare off others but your years of programming allow you to put together one heck of a day of show to manage it all. You will wonder how you ever had a life without them. Each day will be a new opportunity to teach them and fill their lives with love. Today, you are wondering who your children will become. I know Momma is your favorite title.

As you read this, I hope you smile thinking of the man you built a life with, the one who is your greatest teammate. You love him in ways you didn't know you could. You fight for and forgive each other when you hit turbulent roads. I know that you picked someone who knows the worst parts of you but helps you be the best version of yourself. Because of him, you don't always have to be so strong. His kiss on your forehead calms you. And for reasons he probably never articulates, he adores and protects you. While you have traveled the world, I know your favorite spot is with him.

You were fearful, at times, still will be, but you have emerged braver. With each day, you become more than you have ever been.

x.

Thank you Levo League for inspiring this post. 

1 comment:

b|rad said...

Jess, this is beautiful. Thank you for sharing. Makes me hopeful for me too!